Dear
,It’s Kevin. You might not know me, but I have certainly heard of you!
I’m writing to invite you to my Super Bowl Party this weekend. I know you’re Canadian but it’s a big deal for us Americans.
I heard you have a thing called Dia-Logos. That sounds really cool! The Super Bowl is one of the most important Championships of Dia-Logos in the world!
This year, the Kansas City Chiefs are playing against the San Francisco 49ers for the title of ultimate Logo Supremacy.
Of course it’s not quite what it used to be. Now there are all sorts of Logos, much more than Two. It’s a real orgy of Logos out there.
There’s a lot more competition amongst the Logos, but at its core it’s still the same: Two Logos, battling it out in front of millions.
And only one gets to go home and fuck the prom queen.
If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, might I suggest reading Oswald Spengler’s 1931 Man and Technics. It’s a quick read. The fourth chapter is called Speech and Enterprise and it’s really the most important if you really wanna get where I’m coming from.
The original object of speech is the carrying out of an act in accordance with intention, time, place, and means. Clear and unequivocal construction is therefore the first essential, and the difficulty of both conveying one’s meaning to, and imposing one’s will on, another produced the technique of grammar, sentences, and constructions, the correct modes of ordering, questioning, and answering, and the building-up of classes of words — on the basis of practical and not theoretical intentions and purposes. The part played by theoretical reflectiveness in the beginnings of speaking in sentences was practically nil. All speech was of a practical nature and proceeded from the “thought of the hand.”1
Anyways, if you want to come to my party this Sunday, we’ll have some chicken wings and nachos and Yuengling. Let’s enjoy the Dia-Logos together!
And since you’re a philosopher, perhaps you can help me with a strange existential knot. A few years ago I may have opened up a Super Bowl wormhole while tripping on LSD. This wouldn’t be so bad, but I may have caused a murder…
Read this old journal entry I wrote about the experience:
How many times are there where you can look back to an exact date+time, and Know exactly what you were doing, who you were with and exactly what you were thinking? Not just yourself, but also what half of the country was thinking?
February 2, 2014
6:32pm - The Seattle Seahawks & Denver Broncos kick off Super Bowl XLVIII (live from MetLife stadium in NY) as millions of Americans watch. A couple miles away, Kevin sits amongst friends in a Manhattan apartment. He has just survived the longest and most interesting mental day of his life. After taking a tab of LSD with his friend M, he has spent the day wrestling with large, fundamental questions of truth, identity, social value systems, and the destiny of humanity.
6:34pm - the Broncos fumble the snap into their own end zone, giving the Seahawks a 2-point safety. THE QUICkEST SCORE IN THE HISTORY OF THE SUPERBOWL! Millions of American football fans are thinking the same thing — “wow, they really fucked up!” In his hallucinogen-addled mind, Kevin believes it’s possible that Peyton Manning purposely botched the play to perform some type of Magician’s illusion, making the other team let their guard down. In that moment, a wormhole opened, a rip in the fabric of spacetime.
6:37pm - Not far from this Super Bowl scene... Aubrey Brown enters the Manhattan studio apartment of her boyfriend Alex Stevens to a terribly gruesome scene. There are blood stains all over the couch, wall and floor. She follows a trail of blood to the bathroom where she discovers Alex’s dead body in the bathtub...
I know, it’s pretty crazy. Not everyone believes me. But if you want to win in the Dia-Logos of Dia-Logos, maybe we can use this wormhole to make Patrick Mahomes quote Plato in his victory speech.
one’s for nerds
one’s for jocks
both are ways
to grow their cocks
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