It seems like 20% of Substacks are teachers or parents writing about how totally fucked the US public education system is.
- anon
I don’t have any grand visions for how to save the US public education system. If you told me I could wave a magic wand that would implement a sweeping policy change to fix it, I would have no idea what to do. There are too many unique differences between schools to make any widespread prescriptions.
I can only start with myself.
Welcome to Part 2 of my “Astrology is Real” series. If you want the full experience, you should really check out Part 1 for an introduction to the archetypes of my Big 3, but it’s possible to read this part first and catch up later.
Let’s start with a story.
A few years ago when I started living with my parents during COVID, I began having strange and vivid dreams. This period of my life was like a Jungian fever dream, and I felt first-hand how deeply many experiences were embedded within my psyche.
Scene 1: Kindergarten
I had a vivid symbolic dream reminding me of an experience I had in Kindergarten. One time my friend Andrew and I were wrestling, as young boys tend to do. For one reason or another, the teacher decided to punish us and put us in time-out. I may have shed a tear or two.
I remember being terrified of getting in trouble at school. Even the smallest thing like being put on the wall (in timeout) for talking during cafeteria “quiet time” was enough to bring me to tears (which I would struggle to hold back). And this Kindergarten time-out for wrestling was the first time I ran head-first into the limits enforced by school authorities. Not that this didn’t have its disadvantages. I was so good at school. I pretty much always got straight A’s.
Scene 2: 6th Grade
This terror of getting in trouble had its downsides. In 6th Grade I was in the same class as Andrew (my wrestling buddy), along with another guy named Mike. One time during music class, I was sitting in between the two of them, and they started wailing on my legs. Both of them hit me while I just sat there trying to make a straight face, pretending it didn’t hurt. I suspect they knew I wouldn’t hit back. I was a grades-getter, not the type to fight in class.
When we got back to the homeroom, our teacher asked me “Yung Warlord, the music teacher told me they were hurting you. Is everything okay?” Guess what lady, I ain’t no snitch, of course everything is okay.
I didn’t really realize how deeply these two experiences were connected until that winter when I was having strange regressive dreams. It was clear that Andrew was not as affected by this early experience of getting in trouble as I was, due to a difference in our dispositions.1
Scene 3: College
The benefit of suppressing this more aggressive side of myself was that I got really good grades2 and eventually became the Valedictorian of my high school. This allowed me to get into a pretty good college. Unfortunately, academic achievement and getting into a good school had been my overwhelming source of motivation up to that point, so when I got to college I felt a bit… adrift. I then proceeded to become a raging alcoholic.
The first week of freshman year, some new dorm friends and I went to a concert together and we were drinking in the parking lot. Wanting to show off my drinking skills to my new pals, I chugged a small water bottle of cheap and terrible vodka.
As I grimaced with disgust, I attempted to eke out some words:
“I lv fffffpan”…
“Hey man, what did you say?”
“I… LVFRPN”…
“Bro, we can’t understand you.”
”I LIVE FOR PAIN!!”
This seemed to be my modus operandi for many of my college years, as I spiraled further into reckless substance abuse. Sometimes I would awaken the next morning from blackout drinking3 to discover that I had gotten in a fight with one of my friends. I had either “playfully” punched or head-butted him, possibly making him bleed. Some friends would engage with me and fight back, and we would end up rolling on the ground wrestling each other, hitting each other with drumsticks or sword-fighting with giant padded PVC pipes. But other times my friends would get super mad, and rightfully so. Also, I would often get drunk and hurt myself, and I’ve got a scar or two to prove it.
I didn’t do too bad with college grades4, but I certainly didn’t live up to what my mind was capable of.
BACK TO ASTROLOGY
Let’s remember that my Big 3 signs are: Aries Sun, Leo Moon, and Gemini Ascendant. Go back to Part 1 if you want to understand them in more detail. I’m going to add a new dimension to each of these signs.
Each of the 12 Zodiac signs is connected to an element: Fire, Earth, Air, or Water. Aries and Leo are fire signs, while Gemini is an air sign. Fire is explosive and instinctual (like fire) while air is mental and cerebral.5
Also, each sign has a modality: Cardinal, Fixed, or Mutable. These are a bit more obscure, but a quick overview is that Cardinal is directed outward, Fixed is directed inward and Mutable mixes it up. Aries is Cardinal, Leo is Fixed, and Gemini is Mutable.
Let’s juxtapose each of my Big 3’s Element and Modality with some descriptors from Part 1.
Aries Sun: (Cardinal Fire) — a combative and hot-tempered innovator
Leo Moon (Fixed Fire) — a creative and self-obsessed entertainer
Gemini Ascendant (Mutable Air) — a multi-faceted and intelligent shapeshifter
If you look closely, you can sense similar vibes between the Element+Modality and the descriptors. Let’s dig deeper, then we can get back to the story6.
Aries (Cardinal Fire)
Aries is cardinal fire, which is “energy moving outward from the center in a definite direction”
“the kind of fire that moves outward from the center in a definite direction. It’s powerful. It’s sudden. It’s like a flamethrower. Whoosh!”
“associated with the head, and because of its impulsiveness, can often lead to head injuries.”
“It’s unconscious. It acts without thinking. It’s just energy — pure, unadulterated energy.”
When I was instinctually wrestling in Kindergarten, I was embodying my Cardinal Fire. When I was drunkenly getting into fights with my friends during college, same thing. And of course, there's the head injuries!
Leo (Fixed Fire)
“energy that radiates inward toward the center. The fixed mode correlates with great powers of concentration and perseverance.”
“Unlike Aries, whose fire radiates out like a flame thrower, Leo fire moves inward, burning more like a furnace or an internal combustion engine.”
I like to associate my Leo Moon with an ability to turn pain inwards, whether it be physical or emotional. It feels like there is a link here between fixing fire inward, and creative expression.
Gemini (Mutable Air)
And then we have Gemini, which is mutable air. “Air is the mental element. It is intelligent, communicative, expressive, social”. Gemini is “the ultimate jack of all trades” and “always ready to adapt and change”7.
The mutable air of my Gemini Ascendant is my flexible and adaptable mind that allowed me to excel at school.
Back to the Story
Now that we have both my personal story and some more astrological grounding, let’s look at the same progression of events through the lens of my Big 3.
In Kindergarten I was wrestling (Aries Sun), and I got in trouble so I had to direct my fire inwards (Leo Moon) so I wouldn’t get put in timeout again. This allowed me to adapt and to nourish my mind (Gemini Ascendant).
In 6th Grade, the guys were hitting me as I took the pain (Leo) because they knew I wouldn’t hit back (my Aries was suppressed8). I just wanted to adapt and do well at school (and cultivate my Gemini persona).
When I got to college I had already proved my mind could hack it (my Gemini was sufficiently developed), so I consumed copious amounts of alcohol to direct that fire inward (Leo) and kill my mind. Once I was drunk enough and my conscious mind was totally shut off, I would regress to wrestling and getting head injuries (my Aries sun making its comeback).
My parts were at war with each other. My mind and my inner spirit were waging an unseen war inside of me.
The lesson here is that if one part is suppressed as a sacrifice, it will eventually find its way to the surface. After spending some time back in the public education system, I’ve observed that the behavioral boundaries of each classroom are more or less an extension of the personal values and neuroses of the teacher, amplified by the pressures of the parents and administration. There’s no such thing as a “neutral” value system. For some forces to be cultivated, others will be suppressed or denied, for better or worse. And those forces will always find a way to get out.
It’s not like he became a violent criminal. He went to a technical school during high school and last time I checked LinkedIn he was doing something with cybersecurity, so he seems fine.
https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/nathan-for-you-did-nathan-fielder-actually-graduate-one-canadas-top-business-schools-really-good-grades.html/
Coming soon: “Blacking Out is an Ersatz Death Ritual”
I graduated at the top… of the bell curve.
Big thanks to Daljeet again for these excellent descriptions. Everything inside quotations in the section below comes from his Aries, Leo & Sagittarius — The Fire Trinity on Medium
To be fair I played sports throughout my whole school career, which gave me an outlet for aggression. But my mom wouldn’t let me play football so in college I played rugby, where I was known to put my body on the line (and my liver). Sorry, you know my Leo Moon loves being dramatic.